The Beer Book

RTW 2015

THE RULES :

I will always try a new Beer if I see it before I move onto something that I liked before.

Each Beer needs to be judged fairly based on initial smell, taste and after-taste

Bonus points can be awarded if the Beer has something special about it.  This can include the setting that I am at or the people that I am with.

Negative points can also be awarded for any stupid reason I think of.

*However I will confess now that I prefer Blonde and White Beers.  When it comes to the Dark Beers, I am a little put off by it.  I am positive that my rankings of each Beer will reflect this*

SOUTH AFRICA

Castle Black Label (South African)

Castle have been the staple South African beer for years now and virtually own the market.  I remember after the incident of '99 I drank and drank the stuff because it did taste nice but couldn't get drunk on it.  Circumstances were different then and its safe to say that trauma must change the taste buds because this time around it was tasting like West End.  The saving grace was that I was drinking it with the view of Table Mountain in the back ground so it got an extra point.

Goes well with - McDonalds

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 5

View while drinking it - 1

TOTAL - 6

Castle (South African)

Obviously trying to saturate the market, Castle also have the 'normal' version.  Same taste, same results, except that I wasn't looking at Table Mountain.

Goes well with - a Pub hamburger

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 5

TOTAL - 5

(shanty town) [Homebrew]

WHAT THE EFF IS THIS SHIT.  We were lead into a dark and damp place (a pub apparently) to try the local Homebrew that the Townships brew themselves.  There were open tub with what looked like detergent in them and it smelt that bad that the fly were even kept away.  In a effort beyond my normal constitutions I had a go.  WOW.  Smelt bad, tasted bad and the after taste reminded me of vinegar.  Now I love vinegar, but not in my beer.

Goes well with - nothing

For the Vegie - not even eggplant

Taste - -1

Effort - 2

TOTAL - 1

Knysna (South Africa)

Mitchell's [Microbrewery]

Beautiful Town, nice beer.  The variety that I tried, a darker beer, had a very strong flavour that hit the buds like a sledge hammer, pretty much ruining the food that I was eating for the rest of the night.  The after taste though was pleasant and I proceeded to tried few more just to be sure of my score given

Goes well with - Lamb shanks

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 5

TOTAL - 5

Tafel (Namibian)

A easy to drink, typically Austrlian tasting beer, that has become legendary for inventing a new word, Tafelling.  Believe me it will make it into the Oxford Dictionary one day !!

Goes well with - a Springbok shnitzel

For the vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 6

Inventing a new word - 1

TOTAL - 7

Windhoek (Namibian)

I remember this last time and it got a bad rating then, 2, and things haven't really improved.  Maybe the bottle looks better.

Goes well with - a Elton curry

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 3

Bottle improvement - 1

TOTAL - 4

Urbock (German)

Um not sure were to start on this one.  The taste was revolting.  After my look and sniff test I did not have great hopes for this beer, well I think it was a beer, and I was right.  After that, just to confirm my thoughts I passed it around the room to the other 'beer connesoirs' on the trip and we unamimously agreed.  A big fat zero, one at best.  However because I firmly believe that all beer should have some alcohol in it, it got a 1 because of that fact alone.

Goes weel with - Bar peanuts

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 0

Because it has alcohol content - 1

TOTAL - 1

Erdinger (German)

After the debacle that was the Urbock, whatever we had next was always going to score well.  Luckily the Erdinger deserves its score.  It's a white beer from the deep south of Germany where not to many things come out broken (I made that bit up, I don't really know whatelse comes from this region, it could all be terrible).  I will confess now that I am a fan of Blonde and White beers so they will probaly poll higher but the Erdinger was what we needed at the time.  Timing is everything.

Goes well with - Bratwurst

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 7

Coming after the Urbock - 1

TOTAL - 8

St Louis (Botswanan)

Not great but will do if you are stuck with either it or the Shanty Beer.  The bonus was that I got to drink it while watching Elephants play in the water right in front of the tent.  The negative was that I had already obtained the nasty belly bug that required several trip to the WC during said tasting.

Goes well with - A real solid stomach OR BBQ

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 3

TOTAL - 3

Kuche Kuche (Malawian)

Made by Carlsberg so you would expect it to be 'probably the world's best beer'.  Alas it wasn't but it was a very good try.  The problem was that it advertised itself as a 'full bodies beer full of taste'; but it was only 3.8% alcohol.  Hell, the Castle Light was 4% !!!

Goes well with - Other stronger Beers

For the Vegie - Extra alcohol

Taste - 5

Because of a lack of alcohol content - -1

TOTAL - 4

Kilmanjaro (Tanzanian)

Wow what a beer and what a beautiful bar to drink at.  The Kili was my favourite last time and it still ranks up there.  Smooth to drink and with a name and a label like that, it is pure African.  The setting was an old 'stable' (maybe) that the camp owners had tastefully converted into a resturant and bar area.  The bar itself was and old tree trunk, the chairs were bales of hay with an 'Arabian' themed seat covers and the lighting was all candles.  Magnificent.  Too bad we were all nacked after 16 hours in the bloody Truck.

Goes well with - Zebra Steak

For the Vegie - For christ sake, just eat meat !!!

Taste - 6

Ambience - 1

TOTAL - 7

Tusker (Tanzanian)

The Tanzanian seem to do beer quite well.  The traffic on the other hand can go and get effed.  The Tusker that I had therefore was a little unfair to judge as I was starting to lose my cool a little (not to mention the bladder) so I think that I am unable to judge properly.  Alcohol content of only 4.2% is not great but a 500ml bottle makes up for it.  And the slogan, "Together Forever", seems a nice touch even though it will never happen between us.

Goes well with - Elephant Stew with a sprinkle of Ivory Salt

For the Vegie - you guessed it, Eggplant

Taste - 5

TOTAL - 5

Ndovu (Tanzanian)

Ndovu stands for 'Elephant' in Swahili.  It is a Special Malt beer with 4.8% alcohol and it calls itself 'Tanzania's Premium Lager'.  Big call I hear you say and rightfully doesn't deserve it, except for the fact that it is not a large choice of Premium lager available, therefore, itso facto, it is the best.  The big problem with this beer is that is was talked up a lot by a couple of Swan Hillians, Kyle and Nathan, and was therefore always going to be judged harshly.  Fair enough I think, you spin Tafel, you can't get away with it.

Goes well with - Crumbed Elephant penis, deep fried.

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 6

For being talked up a lot and not meeting the standard - -1

TOTAL - 5

Safari (Tanzanian)

'Ladha Kamili, Inayoridhisha Zaidi' is the catch phrase, which according to Kyle means, 'Goes Well With Sushi'.  It actually means 'Good Taste, More Refreshing' (that's what the informative Barmen told us) and it damn well is.  Having said that, it is remarkablable similar to the other Beers that I have drunk in Tanzania and methinks that something is afoot.  The saving grace is that the alcohol content is above the local average at 5.5% and it can really sneak up on you when you are haveing a quiet few.  There are a few other beers still to try so we will see if there is a difference.

Goes well with - Sushi

For the Vegie - Seaweed

Taste - 6

TOTAL - 6

Serengeti (Tanzanian)

Well the Tusker Company lied, Serengeti is THE Premium lager is Tanzania, without a doubt and should sue anyone who says otherwise.  Even the name is better.  Serengeti vs Tusker.  Hands down winner in my opinion.  4.8% alcohol is repectable (except if you were in Belgium).  Apart from that that all I can tell you about this beer as the label is complete written in Swahili.  That's a good touch and it's obvious that the company knows it's market.  Not aimed at the Tourist.

Goes well with - a camp fire Porkjes

For the Vegie - Grass

Taste - 6

Above average alcohol content - 1

TOTAL - 7

White Cap (Kenyan)

White Cap is a Beer born and raised in Kenya, probably owned by White Settlers though.  It has a picture of a mountain on it which I think is Mount Kenya, but is used to decieve people into thinking that it is Kilimanjaro.  A clever marketing ruse mythinks.  It's taste slogan should be coopied straight out of the Thai handbook; same same, but different.  It would not surprise me if ever single Tanzanian and Kenyan beer came from the same factory.

Goes well with - Pork Snitzel

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 6

To much same same - -1

Clever marketing ploy - 1

TOTAL - 6

Balozi (Kenyan)

Wierd name for a beer brewed in Kenyan and I must, nay, need to find out the origin of it.  Someother time though because right now I couldn't be assed.  I tried this right after the most boring game drive of the tour to date so I was really needing a pick-me-up.  This just didn't cut it.

Goes well with - Roasted Marshmallows

For the Vegie - Roasted Marshmallows

Taste - 5

After the Game drive - -1

TOTAL - 4

Summit Malt (Kenyan)

5% alcohol

This was surprisingly good.  A smaller bottle for starters was a refreshing change, it meant that I could finish my drink before it got too bloody hot.  But besides that the was slightly above average, a deeper taste that brought back memory long forgotten, ones that I want to leave forgotten ....

Goes well with - a malt milkshake

For the Vegie - Eggplant

Taste - 6

TOTAL - 6

Nile Special (Ugandan)

5.6% alcohol is a good start and with an iconic name like 'Nile' this beer was off to great start.  It was a different taste to the Kenyan brews but yet the flavour didn't stand out that much to really justify it's loftly name.

Goes well with - Nile Perch slowly cooked of hot coals

For the Vegie - something other than Eggplant

Taste - 5

Lofty standards that name suggests - -1

TOTAL - 4

Bell (Ugandan)
H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E.  Should be banned in all 54 countries in Africa.  Enough said.
Goes well with - nothing
For the Vegie - nothing
Taste - 2
TOTAL - 2

Club (Ugandan)

4.5% alcohol was a slight disappointment based on what I thought the Ugandans could do with their brews.  Maybe they are targeting the easy drunk, you know, let them pretend to drink and say out all night and then boast to their friends about their lack of a hangover.  Or maybe not, maybe its aimed at the disco dancers, the name would suggest that it's good on the dance floor, you can go all night and not end up doing those stupid 3am texts to the ex.

Goes well with - Matoke, a local Ugandan recipe

For the Vegie - Grass

Taste - 5

TOTAL - 5

Pilsener (Ugandan)
I should have tried this earlier as it is really nice, well compared to the others recently.  The real Pilsener comes from an ancient Czech recipe, passed on through generations, some scholars say it a minimum 700 years old, until it lands in the current owners laps.  This Pilsener is just a copy.  But a good one.

Goes well with - a Czech Kolaches II (I don't know what it is, you look it up)

For the Vegie - a Czech cabbage dish

Taste  - 6

TOTAL - 6

Primus (Rwandan)
Any beer named after a heavy rock band, or a hulking former Port Adelaide captain, should be strong, solid and heavy.  Alas the irony when is came out weak, soft and light.  But that was just the start and I'll admit that it got better the more I had.  Again the irony of the Port Adelaide variety that the longer the coaching went the worse it became.
Goes well with - Music and the 2004 AFL Grand Final replay
For the Vegie - probably Eggplant
Taste - 5
The fact that it's name is a complete irony - 1
TOTAL - 6

Turbo King (Rwandan)
Alert.  This beer is of the darker variety and as I've said in the Rules, I'm not a great fan of them.  This particular beer was cold, then hot, then cold again, followed by another hot stage and finally put back into the fridge 6 days after it was bought.  It wasn't going to be good, except for the location: on the Nile River, in the shower (tafelling) as the sun was setting.
Goes well with - Anything cooked after being wrapped in Banana leaves
For the Vegie - the Banana leaves after its been cooked
Taste - 4
Because I completely screwed up the beer by constantly changing the temperature of it and therefore destroying any chance of a fair result - 1
Location, Location, Location - 1
TOTAL - 6

Virunga Malt (Rwandan)
Hand brewed in Kigali, which is some way from the Virunga Mountains, gave me a sense that I was being lied to.  This wasn't a good start for what I was hoping to be a beautiful beer produced by some resilient people.  It was good and I take my initial misgivings back.  It was also a smaller bottle, which by know it becoming a favorite of mine, and the label was nice to look at, although that I know that labels do not affect the taste of the beer.
Goes well with - Goat Kebab
For the Vegie - Peanut Nougat
Taste - 6
TOTAL - 6

ENGLAND

TURKEY

GREECE

FINLAND

RUSSIA

ESTONIA

Saku Kuld (Estonian)
Saku are the Number 1 beer making company in Estonia and have a wide range of product.  The Kuld was refreshing to drink and had a bit of the moresies which is always a good thing I think.  It is a respectable 5.2% (in Australia, not Belgium that is) and came in a 33cl bottle so that it was still cold by the time that I got to the bottom of it.  The taste, I forgot as it was 4 days ago and I forgot to write it down !!!
Goes well with - a marinated Beetroot, roasted Feta, Apricot Jam and lettuce on toast.  Oh and Pumpkin Seeds
For the Vegie - see above
Taste - 6
TOTAL - 6

Saku Porter (Estonian)
Another variety of the Saku family and I would say the best that I have had so far.  So far I have had 2 so its not that hard to be the best is it and that may be because the alcohol content is well above average at 6.9%.  I have found previously that the more alcohol that is in a beer, the taste is just that much stronger.  With the Porter this wasn't the case and for that reason I will give it a low rating.  After to or 3 of these in quick succession, I would be on the floor crying for Mum.  However, Audrey really liked this beer but that could be because the label is a nice shade of purple which happens to be her favourite colour. Personally the colour shouldn't change anything when it comes to taste but with some people ....
Goes well with - water and lots of it
For the Vegie - see above ... and Egglant
Taste - 5
Because it has a purple label - 1
Because it tastes good with a high alcohol content and therefore would be dangerous - -1
TOTAL - 5

Alexander Weizen (German)
Once again it is another Blonde German beer that tastes great.  Honestly if I lined up all these Blonde German beer, got blind folded, and then asked to take sips from each, I don't think that I would be able to tell the different.  That doesn't bother me really as the taste is just perfect for me and is something that I could drink all night ... and then dance a bit ... then go and eat a kebab ... and then sleep until 12 the next day ... and then eat chips and watch the footy in my favourite chair.  Bliss.
Goes well with - what else but a Weiner Schitzel
For the Vegie - Eggplant
Taste - 7
TOTAL - 7

A. Le Coq (Estonian)
A Pilsener type Beer made by a Coq, what could go wrong.  In the end, not much but not a lot right either.  There was nothing about the flavour that would make me go "wow, that's great" and therefore I will probably forget about this beer once I've finished it.  Oh well, stiff shit.
Goes well with - a Hesburger meal deal
For the Vegie - Eggplant
Taste - 5
TOTAL - 5

Warsteiner (German)
Didn't like this one, it fact it even made my burger taste foul, that's what I'm putting it down to anyway.  Thinking about it, maybe it was the other way around, I should have ordered the fish!  It basically tasted off in Australian terms and since it was only 4.2% I just couldn't accept that, especially from the Germans.  So far everything that I've had that was made there has been tremendous.  I will right this one off and just move onto the next one ... soon
Goes well with - Piprapihv+siide +pannkook (like a Pepper Steak)
For the Vegie - you have a guess
Taste - 3
Disappointed that it was made in Germany - -1
TOTAL - 2